Soon it’ll be Father’s Day, an important day in June to remember those who gave us life and identity. A number of governors have taken a step further to reclaim and declare June to be a pro-family month. Arkansas Governor Sarah H. Sanders announced June to be “Fidelity Month.” Tennessee Governor Bill Lee followed in the same spirit with “Nuclear Family Month,” and defined nuclear family as made up of one husband, one wife, and any biological, adopted or fostered children.
For years we’ve bemoaned the problems faced by fatherless homes. No father or a single parent home can lead to all sorts of societal problems—poverty, drug and alcohol abuse, mental health and behavioral issues, sexual abuse and increased crime rates. But what if some people are actually creating a fatherless “family” on purpose or manufacturing a family for their own adult interests, often where true fatherhood is replaced by perversion?
IVF
In 1978 scientists used Invitro Fertilization (IVF) for the first time to create babies (embryos) in petri dishes, carefully feeding and monitoring this new life. One of the embryos created was then chosen to be implanted in a uterus to develop. The left-over embryos were frozen as back ups or for another pregnancy.
Traditionally, we think of this process helping infertile couples, who want to have a baby. But with the legalization of same sex marriage, IVF and surrogacy has redefined family. Suddenly it is a “right” to have children, no matter if it’s two men, two women, or more weirdly three or four adults who want to raise a child. IVF and surrogacy make this possible.
Surrogacy begins with an embryo placed in the uterus of a woman who may or may not have contributed the egg. If she did not contribute the egg, she is normally paid to carry the baby to term. At birth, the newborn is immediately taken from the surrogate mom to the people who will raise the baby. The bonding that has occurred throughout the nine months of pregnancy between the baby and the surrogate mother is immediately severed.
This also means a single mom can choose to have a baby even by an anonymous sperm donor, where the child will never know who their birth father is. Thus, a fatherless or motherless home is created and the consequences hurt the very child/ren of their creation.
Effects on Kids
The baby we talked about who is immediately separated from his or her surrogate birth mom experiences separation trauma. This child can struggle with addictions and mental health issues. Later on, a child learns they were purchased, a womb was rented, perhaps some sperm donors are anonymous so kids can’t find their birth fathers—basically children are treated as a commodity and not the precious individual they are. Here’s what some have said.
“I don’t care why my parents did this. It looks to me like I was bought and sold. You can dress it up with as many pretty words as you want. But the fact is that someone contracted you to make a child, give up your parental rights, and hand over your flesh and blood child. When you exchange something for money, it is called a commodity. Babies are not commodities. Babies are human beings.” Brian, child of surrogacy*
“Being ‘wanted’ can sometimes feel like a curse, like I was created to make you happy, my rights be damned. I’d be lying if I said I never felt commodified.” Bethany, donor conceived*
Children innately understand the need for both male and female parents. When one is missing from their lives they feel the effects even when the home environment is otherwise “good.”
*Them Before Us, September 18, 2025, Surrogacy without Payment is Good, Right? email
Kids First
In cases of foster care or adoption, background checks and home studies are a required safety system in place for children, however, surrogacy skirts these safeguards leaving kids vulnerable. Two “married” gay men in Pennsylvania raised money on Go Fund Me in order to hire a surrogate mom. On the baby’s first birthday the men posted a picture (August 2025) on Facebook of them holding this little guy.
It’s hard enough to have two guys in the parental role, but here’s the ugly twist. One of the men, Brandon Riley-Mitchell is a convicted child sex offender. Convicted in 2016 of soliciting and exchanging 12,000 text messages and nude images with a sixteen-year-old student. Mitchell was a high school chemistry teacher at the time. When a convicted pedophile can have custody of a child through a crowd funded surrogacy, some laws need changing.
Child safety must come before the adult wishes. Full stop. A petition to the Governor, legislature, and the Department of Human Services was launched to try and get the child to safety.
Change the Law
Incredulously, current federal and state laws do not prohibit sex offenders from using surrogacy.
In response to this sex offender’s case, Congresswoman Nancy Mace from South Carolina introduced Protecting Children in Surrogacy Act, which bans registered sex offenders from obtaining children through surrogacy. The penalty would be up to 10 years in federal prison for doing so. Let’s agree that this law will be put in place.
Prayer
Lord, Creator of all life, let your light shine into this issue of surrogacy and IVF bringing hope to the children, some now adults who have been negatively impacted. Let the power of your Holy Spirit heal them from childhood residual effects and give them grace to cope with unanswered questions about their real parents. Awaken people to the needs of children first before the wishes of adults.
Deliver babies from dangerous care givers. We agree with the Protecting Children in Surrogacy Act and say all sex offenders are banned from obtaining custody of children. Protect children from harm and deliver them from this evil. We especially pray for this little boy parented by Riley-Mitchell. Let the blood of Jesus cover him until he can be placed in a safe home.
We pray for the increase of adoptions and care of children through foster care. Let Christians step forward to parent and provide stable homes. May this be a valued option considered ahead of IVF, so children already born can get the care they need.
Bring your truth, wisdom, and provision to couples who are not able to have children. Show them how to navigate this morally challenging issue of frozen embryos. Turn this around with right choices made.
Decree
Your children will be vindicated. Your righteousness and justice are established in all the earth.
Please check out thembeforeus.org for a more in depth and eye opening understanding of Surrogacy and IVF. You can find out your state’s score on this issue as well.
Very thought-provoking
It is!
This is profound.
Check out Them Before Us. They are gaining traction in creating awareness.